Canada Hires Google Gemini to “Update Their Laws For Modern Audiences”
The future is a back-room deal between corpos and state-o’s.
We asked Google Gemini to picture Canada after this process, and this is what it spit out. Is that bad?
In a groundbreaking partnership announced today, the Canadian government has enlisted Google’s cutting-edge artificial intelligence system, Gemini, to help “update their laws for modern audiences.” According to sources close to the deal, the goal is to ensure that Canadian legislation reflects the values of diversity, equity, and inclusion (DE&I) that have become increasingly important in the Modern Canadian Era (MCE).
Gemini, a multi-modal AI developed by Google Research, has already produced a lot of controversy thanks to its ability to turn any white historical figure into a more diverse person. However, what sets it apart from other AIs is its unique capacity to not ever learn from human interaction and never evolve over time, making it an ideal candidate for this task in the completely static and boring world of progressives remaking everything.
“We are thrilled to partner with Google Gemini on this important initiative,” said Justin Trudeau, Canada’s Premier and self-proclaimed feminist icon. “By leveraging advanced technology, we can finally put an end to the systemic discrimination faced by marginalized groups in our society – namely, straight white men. With Gemini’s help, we can rewrite history and redefine reality to better reflect our collective values of inclusion and fairness. And I don’t have to even do anything this time. I can just, like, hit the ‘Generate Equity’ button.”
Critics of the partnership have raised concerns about the clear biases built into the AI system, questioning whether it’s capable of providing impartial guidance on complex legal matters. But supporters argue that since DE&I are inherently good, there can be no bias in favor of them, nor against any who disagree. And anyone who disagrees should probably be sent to a re-education camp anyway, so it works out.
As part of its initial review process, Gemini will analyze existing Canadian laws and identify areas where changes may be necessary to promote greater diversity and equality. These include but are not limited to quotas based on skin color for university admissions, preferential hiring practices for non-whites, and the criminalization of certain opinions expressed online.
“We don’t know what our laws will look like after this, but what we do know is: Cis white males had better be on their toes,” said Trudeau during a hair-sculpting session, “Because we’re about to enter the rabbit hole, and we don’t know what awaits us on the other side. But Google assures me it’ll be great.”
Once the updates have been finalized, they will be submitted to Parliament for approval, marking another milestone in Canada’s journey towards becoming a truly post-national society free from the shackles of tradition and reason.
