Justin Trudeau says Canada will “Soon Surpass” the U.S. – “Your Constitution Makes You Weak.”

by Jane Canada

Justin Trudeau, Canada’s hottest PM and certified “Feminist Dad,” took some serious shots at the U.S. today, claiming that Canada’s lack of constitutional free speech protections will soon make it “the most progressive and forward-thinking country in the world.” Speaking at a press conference after getting his daily shave by his wife, Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau, the Canadian PM said, “Canada has never cared about people being able to say whatever horrible things they want, whenever they want. And it’s finally paying off. Instead of being overrun by C.H.U.D.s and Incels like our neighbors to the South, we want to be chock full of BIPOC and, if necessary, Allies like me. It’s inevitable that we soon surpass the U.S. in every category that matters.”

Justin went on to say that his nation’s lack of free speech protections has made it easier for them to “move forward and be awesome,” and that “your constitution” (aka the U.S. constitution) is what’s holding America back. “We don’t need a piece of paper to tell us what we can and can’t do, okay?” he said, throwing some major shade at the U.S. constitution. He continued, “I’m not afraid to say it – if your laws protect free speech, you are weak. Probably weak sauce, even. I must break you.”

Canada’s approach to free speech has come under scrutiny in recent years, particularly after the passage of Bill C-16, which added “gender identity” and “gender expression” to the country’s existing human rights law. Critics argue that this is a slippery slope towards censorship and fascism, while supporters argue that it’s just common sense to protect vulnerable groups from discrimination, and also, mean people suck.

Whatever your opinion on the matter may be, one thing is clear: Canada is definitely not messing around when it comes to being the most progressive country on Earth. As Trudeau said when imploring people to move to Canada, “I mean, sure, maybe you wouldn’t get your ‘free speech’ back anytime soon, but the only people who need ‘free speech’ are those speaking against the ruling class, and we can demonize them instead. Just think of all the progress we could make without having to waste time on silly things like…the opinions of the oppressors!”