What Happens to Our Waste? Find Out in This Shocking Expose’! Scandal! GASP!
Big Garbage is lying to you
Look at what we've done to China
Millennials and influencers everywhere want to know: what happens to all of our waste? We create so much stuff and throw it away, and it all ends up somewhere…right? Turns out, it does end up somewhere, but not where you’d expect. Here’s the shocking exposé’:
First, our trash goes to landfills, where it sits for months until it either rots or blows into the ocean or ruins nature or whatever. It’s impossible to know, really. But gross!
Then, our recyclables go to recycling facilities, where they get separated and sent to China (pre-COVID). But now they just ship it all back to us and say, “Good luck!” Not helpful! It probably just ends up in the ocean, where baby fish suckle on it, and then die. Ugh!
Next, our food waste goes to compost piles, where it rots and turns into poop that we can actually use to fertilize gardens or make beautiful art sculptures with. That’s kind of cool! Just try not to think about it too hard.
Last, our electronics and smartphones go to e-waste sites, where they get melted down and sold for scrap metal. At least something productive happens to them! It’s better than being an iPhone 4, amirite? That phone didn’t even have Siri in it!
In conclusion, millennials and influencers must decide between two choices: either keep creating garbage and letting it ruin nature, or getting the government to kill some people so we don’t have as much waste. It’s an easy choice, and I fully support it. Amen!
