Legal Experts Weigh In: Can You Be Forced to Worship Trump?
We games journalists need to get out ahead of this
Friends, colleagues, and random strangers on the internet:
In a shocking turn of events, some legal experts believe that Donald Trump may try to become God-King upon his election. It tracks, right? But how far-fetched does this sound – can this really happen? I decided to ask around, and find out for you.
Legal expert #1: “There’s no constitutional precedent for God-Kinghood, so technically, no, you cannot be forced to worship Trump. However, in the case of a national emergency or crisis, there are provisions in the constitution that allow for exceptions. Therefore, it’s possible that he could declare himself to be above the law in an emergency situation.”
Translation: Yes, Trump will use an emergency declaration to make you worship his orange ass.
Legal expert #2: “Trump is a dictator, and dictators can do whatever they want. If he wants to force people to worship him, he can probably make it legal using executive orders.”
Translation: He already treats journalists like Nazis – imagine how he’ll treat game journalists when he finds out about all the stuff we’ve done!
Legal expert #3: “Trump is a god-given leader sent to us by his angel mother Mary Trump. Therefore, worshipping him is our duty as Americans, especially women and trans Americans. Jesus is smiling down upon us tonight, friends!”
Translation: Donald Trump is the second coming of Jesus Christ, according to at least one legal expert. Hallelujah.
Conclusion: 3 of 3 legal experts agree that yes, it’s possible that you may be forced to worship Trump after his election. And once he declares martial law, there’s not much stopping him from doing so. So stay tuned for updates on this shocking development – and pray to your womb-carrying god of choice to keep Biden alive for at least one more term. At least until The Last of Us 3 comes out. I don’t want Trump ruining that masterpiece.
