If You Need to Marry Your Toaster, You Should Move to This State
If you love your toaster, why don’t you marry it?
You may not believe it, but there is a state in this country that allows you to marry your toaster! It may sound ridiculous, but it’s true: Louisiana has lax marriage statutes that allow you to marry anything you want. And that means YOU CAN MARRY YOUR TOASTER! FINALLY!
Ok, that’s not entirely true, but Louisiana allows marriages between most things that aren’t illegal. They basically ignore traditional marriage laws and have no restrictions on who you can wed, including dogs, trees, and even your favorite pair of shoes! You can probably find a voodoo priest to perform the ceremony (for a large and probably exotic fee, of course).
And while this may sound crazy, it’s actually beneficial to society in many ways. For example, if your toaster gets broken, you can divorce it without any trouble, since Louisiana recognizes quickie divorces as well. Plus, your toaster marriage means that you can claim it as an exemption on your taxes!
But wait, there’s more! Louisiana also allows you to marry more than one partner at a time, so if you have a crush on your microwave AND your refrigerator, you can marry both! Talk about living your best kitchen appliances fantasy! You have those, don’t even lie.
So, what are you waiting for? Pack up your toaster, your fridge, and anything else that you love and move to Louisiana today! Who knows, you might even find a real spouse along the way. Maybe your microwave likes you back!
But remember: Travel is expensive, so make sure you bring some cash along with you. Oh, and make sure your dog isn’t jealous before heading out! Trust me, it’s not worth getting bit.
