The Force is a Dude: Three Reasons Why Women Shouldn’t Have a Voice in Star Wars

Another A-hole Gamer here! Disney has announced that some female Pakistani director is now at the helm of the Star Wars franchise, promising to shake things up by “making men uncomfortable.” But as a proud gamer who knows his shit, let me tell you something – Star Wars is inherently male, and women shouldn’t come out of the kitchen and start messing with its tried-and-true formula. Here are three reasons why Star Wars needs to stay 100% bro-centric, as it was in the beginning, in a galaxy far away:
Reason 1: Historical Context
From George Lucas himself to J.J. Abrams, every significant person involved in creating the franchise has been a man. You don’t see people questioning whether Luke Skywalker should have been played by a woman; that’s because everyone knows that Star Wars is For Boys, By Men (FBBM). Women like Princess Leia are there for eye candy first, and driving the narrative second. By putting a woman in charge, Disney is throwing out everything that made Star Wars so good in the first place.
Reason 2: Space Battles Are Manly AF
There’s nothing more badass than watching spaceships dogfight among the stars. And what’s more masculine than dudes blasting away at each other in big, metal machines? Can you imagine if a bunch of women were flying these things around? It would be like watching someone play The Sims – no real threat or excitement, they’d just be running into asteroids and each other. Men deserve to keep their space battles as testosterone-filled as possible, thank you very much.
Reason 3: My Fear of Political Correctness
We all know Hollywood is obsessed with pandering to minorities and women these days. Putting a female director in charge of Star Wars is just another example of them trying to appease the snowflake mob. We can’t let political correctness ruin one of our most cherished franchises! If we don’t stand up now, who knows what they’ll try to force on us next? For the love of Han Solo (and for the hatred of Ben Solo), let’s keep our beloved series as manly as it was when Darth Vader first graced the silver screen. Now that was a dude’s dude!
In conclusion, men need to take back control of Star Wars before it becomes unrecognizable. Let’s hope this new director doesn’t mess too much with the formula- otherwise, she might find herself out of a job faster than you can say “I am your father.”

But she’ll probably just stick around forever because Disney sucks now.