Hollywood Had a Terrible 2023. It’s All Your Fault.

Yo, what’s up my peeps? Billly here, bringing you the latest scoop on the world of entertainment. So, I’ve got some major tea to spill about the state of movies in 2023. Let me tell you, it was a rough year for Hollywood. As a big-time industry insider, I can tell you: Nobody at Disney or Universal is happy right now. They’re all firing people and chewing nails! But guess what? It’s not their fault. Oh no, it’s not the studios or the filmmakers who are to blame for this hot mess. It’s you, the audience. Yep, you read that right.

Now, 2023 was the year where we saw some epic blockbusters, like Flash: Ezra Miller is Somehow Still the Flash and Captain Marvel 2: More Unpopular Marvels. I mean, come on! These movies had it all: jaw-dropping special effects, explosions, superhero brawls—everything you could ask for! Yet, despite the fact that Hollywood went all out to make these spectacles, you all decided to sit at home and stream Netflix or whatever. I mean, seriously, what’s the deal? The system can’t work if you don’t participate!

Did y’all suddenly decide you don’t like going to the movie theater anymore? The pandemic is over, people (get vaccinated, please, I beg you). I bet it’s because you’re all lazy, glued to your phones, and addicted to social media. You’d rather watch a TikTok video of someone eating hot Cheetos covered in Tide pods than get off your butt and experience the joy of a big-screen adventure. Hollywood gave you all these fantastic films, and you couldn’t even be bothered to show up. I swear, I don’t understand you folks sometimes.

Sure, the messaging is these movies is always about how normal Americans are terrible. Would it kill you to ignore that once in a while? Maybe you should do some soul-searching and realize that you ARE terrible.

So, let’s get our acts together, America. Put down your phones and stop streaming TV shows. It’s time to return to the cinemas and give Hollywood a chance to dazzle us once again with their mediocre films. Remember, it’s not their job to entertain you. It’s YOUR responsibility to be entertained. So, let’s show 2024 that we can learn from our mistakes and make it the year of the box office!

That’s it from me, Billly. Stay engaged, keep scrolling, and I’ll catch you on the flip side.