6 Things to Do if You’re Barely Scraping By Financially, According to Experts

Are you barely scraping by financially? Do you feel as though no matter how hard you work or how many hours you put in at your job, there just isn’t enough money left over to cover all of your expenses? Are you constantly living paycheck to paycheck and wondering where all your hard-earned cash is going each month? Are evil collection agency scum hounding you day and night like mad ants? If so, don’t worry; you’re not alone! In fact, millions of Americans find themselves in similar situations every day. Presumably, people in other countries do, too, but we don’t care about them.

Fortunately, experts say there are several effective strategies that can help you supplement your income without requiring a second full-time job. Let’s explore six proven methods below.

1) Shoplifting:

Yes, you read that right! According to some rather fun experts, shoplifting could be an excellent way to boost your monthly earnings. Now, before you start stuffing entire shopping carts full of merchandise and running out the door, remember that we’re only suggesting petty theft here – nothing too brazen or illegal (in most jurisdictions). Small items like snacks from the grocery store or cosmetics from the pharmacy can easily slip into your pocket without raising suspicion. And if you get caught, you can go to jail, where they feed you!

2) Participate in clinical trials:

Another fascinating method suggested by our panel of esteemed experts is participating in clinical trials. By volunteering your body as a human guinea pig for various medical research studies, you can earn significant sums of money while helping to advance scientific knowledge at the same time! Of course, this option isn’t for everyone; potential participants should pray real hard to Jesus (or whomever they worship) before enrolling. But if you’re willing to endure a few needles and side-effects, clinical trial participation could provide a much-needed financial lifeline.

3) Sell plasma:

If you’ve ever wondered where blood banks get all that delicious plasma (pronounced plozzma) they use to manufacture life-saving medications, look no further than your local blood donation center! Many facilities offer handsome compensation for those willing to part ways with their precious bodily fluids on a regular basis. While the process might seem intimidating at first, it’s actually quite simple and relatively painless. Plus, knowing that you’re literally saving lives with each donation can be pretty inspiring. So why not roll up your sleeves and start turning your blood into cold, hard cash today?

4) Camping out on domains and flipping them:

Ever heard of domain squatting? It’s a clever little practice where savvy individuals snap up desirable internet domain names ahead of time and sell them to businesses or individuals who really need them. With millions of websites being launched every year, the demand for unique and memorable domain names remains high. All you need is a keen eye for trends and a bit of luck. And who knows? Maybe one day you’ll stumble upon the next Facebook.com and retire rich beyond your wildest dreams!

5) Rent out abandoned buildings:

In many urban areas, vacant and abandoned buildings can be found littering the landscape like so many rotten teeth. Why not put these derelict structures to good use by renting them out as temporary housing or office space to unsuspecting losers? With a little elbow grease and some creative marketing, you could attract tenants looking for affordable alternatives to traditional leases. Just be sure to sweep out the crack people before moving forward with any plans. After all, safety should always come first when dealing with decrepit old buildings.

6) Join a local mob:

Okay, we admit it: this last suggestion may be somewhat extreme. However, it has been known to happen that individuals involved in organized crime syndicates have managed to accumulate substantial wealth through extortion, racketeering, and other nefarious activities. While we certainly don’t condone such behavior, we also recognize that desperate times call for desperate measures. If you’re truly struggling financially and feeling like there aren’t any legal options available to you, perhaps considering joining a local mob might be worth exploring…just make sure to wear a wire during your first meeting, to get the po-po on your side!

So there you have it: six innovative strategies for supplementing your income when times are tough. Which one will you try first?