Your Self-Esteem is Too Low. These Weird Tricks are Karen-Teed to Fix That! (Updated for 2024)

If you’re one of those Karens who feel like their self-esteem could use a boost, I have the solution for you.

It’s no secret that a lot of people are obsessed with the idea of being perfect, and while that may seem like a good thing, it can actually be detrimental to your mental health. That’s why I’ve created a list of ways to improve your self-esteem that don’t require you to change a single important thing about yourself. Only your looks!

1. Get a boob job.

I know, it sounds crazy! But hear me out – having bigger boobs is a quick and easy way to boost your confidence. Not only will you look better, but you’ll also feel better about yourself. Think of how great your side profile will look! Just don’t let the doctor botch it, or you’ll wind up lopsided, and everyone will secretly be laughing at you.

2. Get lip fillers.

This one is a must! No one likes a Karen with thin lips. By injecting some beautiful and long-lasting fillers into your pout, you can give yourself a much-needed confidence boost. All the other suburban wine moms are looking like late-period Loni Anderson, and so should you.

3. Lengthen your legs

We all know that legs are a huge part of your Karen-ness, and if your legs are too short, you might not feel as confident walking down the street. That’s why I recommend getting a little reverse tuck and lengthening your legs with a few simple procedures. It’s quick and painless, and you won’t even need a lot of recovery time! Just remember, it takes a little time to get used to walking on those new stilts! But it’s totally worth it.

4. Tummy tuck

Do you like food and also looking fit? No problem! A tummy tuck can tighten up your abdomen and make you feel like you’re in the shape of a Karen who eats a strict diet of organic vegetables and lean proteins. No one will ever have to know you’re a secret fatty!

5. Face lift

If your face starts to sag, you can always get a face lift. It’s been around for years, and it’s not just for misguided actresses anymore! With the lip fillers, this will make you look exactly like those models on the Internet with a bajillion followers. You might even get a brand deal for cosmetics, if your face is tight enough.

There you have it! One word of caution: These procedures are expensive, so it’s best to find a husband/sugar daddy/army of simps to pay for them. Also, there’s a chance they might not actually help your self-esteem – but don’t fret, that just means you still have a soul! Bless your little sad heart.