BREAKING: Covid-19 Tries to Kill OJ Wolfsmasher, Fails
The forces that have conspired against ya boi have failed
That dastardly rogue moustache-twirling virus that has killed so many during the ongoing pandemic, has finally caught up with its intended victim, yours truly, your old pal, OJ WOLFSMASHER DOT COM.
I promise to stay alive, and as long as I live, I will fight this virus with all my bodily and rhetorical power. That’s a promise from me to you, my ol’ pal, um…you.
I will fight unless the CIA successfully mind controls me and gets me to stop, of course, but that goes without saying.
Ugh, I can feel the covid inside me trying to win, I must retire back to my bungalow and intake fluids and rest. Carthago delenda est!
Love,
OJ
