A Noncomprehensive List of Things That are Overrated, Part 2

Hey, I’m back! I thought of more stuff that your people rate too highly, and forced that old coot* OJ Wolfsmasher to let me post about it.

1. Online shopping. It’s convenient and easy, but it’s also expensive and a waste of time. You can get all the stuff you want much cheaper and faster in real stores, so get your butt off the couch and go outside!

2. Cats. Yes, they’re adorable and fluffy, but they’re also demanding and needy. If you want a pet, get a dog. Dogs are easy to train and require less attention. Dogs are also loyal and will always be by your side. Cats secretly want to kill you and eat your bones, did you know that? It’s true!

3. Apple Watches. Sure, they look cool, but they’re also bulky and expensive. Get a regular watch or use your phone like a normal person! Your wrist will thank you for it. Also, they are douchey and everyone knows it.

4. Instagram. It’s a great way to connect with people, but it’s also a waste of time. You can make real connections in real life, so stop taking pictures of your food and go meet someone face-to-face!

5. The weather. It’s always changing and unpredictable. Why not just accept that it’s going to rain and bring an umbrella with you everywhere you go? Who cares?!

There you go, another five brilliant points for you. I’ve got a million of these, so stay tuned for more Overrated things at a later date!

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• Ed. Note: OJ Wolsmasher is not that old, nor a “coot.”