Four Things Millennials Can Say to Really Piss Off Boomers: Here’s How to Annoy the Living Hell Out of Those Old Bastards!
Serves ’em right for existing and having preferences
Boomers have a particularly annoying lens with which the view the world and ruin everything. It’s practically our duty as younger people to annoy them. Here are four easy phrases you can use to make a boomer’s day worse:
- “I’m a vegan, and I love my new gluten-free, sugar-free, soy-free diet! I feel so much healthier and full of energy now.”
Boomers hate vegans. They think they’re weird and don’t belong in their traditional meat-eating world. But we all know that veggies are better for you than red meat, and boomers just can’t handle that. So the next time you see a bunch of old geezers staring at you judgmentally at the grocery store, just whip out your phone and start taking selfies while chomping on a carrot. Boomers HATE that.
- “I’m not drinking anymore, I’m just gonna get a bunch of energy drinks and stay up all night watching anime. It’s so much cheaper and way better for you.”
Boomers are drunk, and can’t stand energy drinks. They think they’re just a cheap way to get a sugar high and avoid sleep. But we all know that energy drinks give you the perfect amount of energy for gaming and late-night study sessions. And boomers just can’t handle the fact that millennials have a higher-functioning lifestyle. So the next time you’re in a coffee shop, make sure to order a Red Bull and make direct eye contact with the nearest boomer. They’ll probably run out screaming.
- “I’m taking a year off to travel the world and learn about other cultures. You should totally try it, it’s so much better than going to college.”
Boomers hate the idea of traveling and learning about other cultures. They think it’s a waste of time and money. But we all know that travel is one of the best ways to grow as a person and gain valuable life experiences. And boomers just can’t deal with the fact that millennials have better taste and more fun than them. So the next time a boomer tries to tell you what to do, just start listing off the countries you’ve visited. They’ll probably cry.
- “I’m moving out of the city to the country. There are too many people and it’s too expensive here. I’m sick of being surrounded by hipsters and homeless people.”
Boomers can’t understand why anyone would ever want to leave the city. They think it’s the only place to be and they’ll never understand our love of nature and fresh air. But we all know that nature is more beautiful than anything you’ll ever see in the city, and boomers just can’t comprehend the idea that someone could like trees more than skyscrapers. So the next time a boomer asks why you’re leaving, just start ranting about climate change and how overpopulation is ruining the planet. Boomers hate that shit.
The next time you’re feeling stressed or annoyed, remember these four things and use them to your advantage. Boomers hate everything we do, so why not give them a little taste of their own medicine?
