I’m Hating Trump Followers With All My Heart; Why Isn’t It Working?

As a true believer in the Project to Be Better, I have made it my mission to hate on disgraceful and illegal “President” Trump and his incel followers with every fiber of my being. I mean, who could possibly support such an orange-hued monstrosity? Certainly not me or any of my impossibly awakened friends! But here’s the thing – no matter how much I hate, it just doesn’t seem to be working. Why isn’t it working? It makes me so mad!

The problem is that these MAGA-hat-wearing, gun-toting yokels just don’t care what anyone thinks or the consequences of their insolence. They’re impervious to reason and logic, preferring instead to cling to their outdated 1700s beliefs like grimy barnacles on a rusty ship. And it’s not just them – it feels like the entire world is against us, with our Twitter mentions filling up faster than a landfill on trash day. They just keep punching down, and you people let them.

I’m used to hating things, and having them go away. It’s worked that way my entire life. I don’t know where they go, or what happens to them, and I don’t care! When I walk by a TRUMP MAGA 2024 sign on my neighbor’s lawn, I want to know that it won’t be there the next time if I scowl at it hard enough. What good is it feeling all this guilt for moving to the suburbs if some super-racists are just going to openly exist in my face all the time?

So what’s an enlightened liberal like myself supposed to do? Keep fighting the good fight, of course! We can’t let these bigots and racists win, even if it means having to spend hours crafting the perfect clapback tweet or sourcing articles from legitimate news sources (cough cough CNN). The truth will prevail, and one day, the world will look back on this dark period in history and say, “Thank God we had people like Karen Plate-Crabdip to guide us through it.”