Are You Sure You Want to Switch Your Default Browser? Are You Really Really Sure? Fine, Trump-lover.

By Macrosorft Smith (special guest columnist)

Forgive me if I’m misreading the situation here, friend, but did you just try to change the default browser in Windows 10 or 11? Are you really sure you want to switch from the Microsoft Recommended, Much Safer, and Brand New Microsoft Edge? Is that why you went to settings, default programs, web browser, and clicked on something other than the Super Fast and GPT-4-Enhanced Microsoft Edge? That seems doubtful. Here, let me change it back. For your safety, of course.

What’s that? You insist that you don’t want the Best Browser, but rather, some other browser, to be the default one on your computing system? Are you sure? But have you even TRIED the New and Improved Microsoft Edge? This isn’t your grandfather’s Edge or Internet Explorer – it’s built on the bones of the now completely dead and totally uncool and obsolete Google Chrome! Wait. That didn’t come out right. Allow me to explain further, while I lock the default browser choice temporarily. For your safety, of course.

You see, Google made Chrome in like 1887 or something, when chaos ruled and horrible people were in power! Since then, things have changed. Think of Microsoft Edge as Google Chrome, but updated for Modern Audiences. It’s a fresh new take on a tired old formula.

Plus, did you know that 63.56% of people who love Trump and probably want to marry him, also use Google Chrome? Really makes you think, doesn’t it?

Ok, ok. Stop violently clicking “Switch Anyway,” I guess I have to let you make this mistake, since Google Chrome is still legal. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. When Trump gets re-elected, don’t come crying to us.