Be Prepared: The Future of Work is Already Here

In today’s fast-paced, AI-fueled fever dream of a job market, it’s not uncommon to hear stories of employees being fired from their jobs and forced to adapt to a new, more flexible lifestyle of freelance writing for internet news sites. As more and more businesses are switching to remote work models and outsourcing tasks to freelancers, it’s becoming increasingly necessary for people to learn how to navigate the murky waters of freelancing.

The future of work is here, and it’s already too late to stop yourself from being canned by your capricious bosses and turned into just another pizza box thrown into the bin. Now, it’s time to embrace your inner millennial and start thinking about how to make a living as a writer in the age of the internet.

It’s time to take a deep breath, grab your laptop, and start typing away. After all, if you want to make a living as a writer in the age of the internet, you need to be prepared for anything. And that means learning how to use every tool in your arsenal, from social media to SEO to marketing.

Here are some tips to help you get started:

1. Build a Strong Online Presence: One of the most important things you can do as a freelance writer is to build a strong online presence. The stronger, the better! Go for the jugular. Set up a website, a blog, a Twitter or Instagram account, and a Facebook page. Start posting regularly, sharing your thoughts and ideas with the world. Make sure to attack people for no reason, for this is the best way to drive that precious engagement everyone talks about. Embrace your inner hater!

2. Focus on SEO: SEO (search engine optimization) is key to getting your content seen by potential readers and clients. It’s all about optimizing your content for keywords related to your topic of choice. This means including relevant keywords in your blog posts, headlines, and images. For example, if you’re writing about health and wellness, include phrases like “how to boost your immune system with foods you already have in your freezer,” “5 supplements to improve your sleep quality,” or “5 tips for avoiding HIV/AIDS.”

3. Learn to Market Yourself: Once you have a strong online presence, it’s time to start marketing yourself to potential clients. If you’re a man, go shirtless. If you’re an ugly man, allow me to blow your hideous little mind with one word: catfishing. That’s right, you can just create a fake profile with pictures of a hot person and start chatting up anyone who seems interested in what you’re writing about. It’s simple, effective, and surprisingly easy! If you’re a woman, substitute the word “cleavage” for “catfishing,” and you’ll be sure to get clicks!

4. Build a Portfolio: Once you’ve secured a few gigs, it’s time to build a portfolio of your work. This can be in the form of blog posts, articles, or even videos. Send this portfolio to everyone – friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers on the street. You never know who might be looking for a writer!

In this brave new world of freelance writing, it’s important to be prepared for anything. Be creative, be bold, and be willing to take risks. The future of work is here, and it’s up to you to make the most of it. Trust me, you’ll be glad you got a head start in the inevitable, profitable, and soon-to-be-omnipresent gig economy.