by OJW Staff<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, we know it\u2019s late…but we just couldn\u2019t decide between Donald \u201cKung Flu\u201d Trump and Kamala \u201cAmerica\u2019s Loopy Mom\u201d Harris. We were going to flip a coin, and just retroactively justify our endorsement with lies written by AI, but that seemed disrespectful. And so here we are, one day away from an election nobody wants, and we still haven\u2019t made our official endorsement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A quick note \u2013 you may have already early voted for whomever you thought was best, and that\u2019s ok! If so, you should definitely try to intercept your mail-in ballot at the post office (Going in there and yelling, \u201cI\u2019VE COMMITTED VOTE FRAUD\u201d will get their attention, in our experience), because you most definitely voted wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After all, isn\u2019t there someone we KNOW is QUALIFIED for the job, but somehow got removed from everyone\u2019s ballots? Someone with almost FOUR YEARS EXPERIENCE being ACTUAL PRESIDENT of USA?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, I\u2019m not talking about Trump, you MAGA fools. I\u2019m talking about the one, the only…Joseph \u201cThe Body\u201d M***********g Biden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sure, there are questions about his \u201cmental acumen\u201d and \u201cfrail old man body,\u201d but those are just dog whistles for Oldphobia and Ableism. Girl, you know it\u2019s true. And he\u2019s President RIGHT NOW. How could anyone be more qualified than that? I\u2019m just sayin\u2019. That would be like HR throwing out your resume\u2019, firing you, and salting the earth so you can never be rehired. It\u2019s wrong, and it needs to be called out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Good Ol\u2019 Joe Biden is the safe choice and you know it. Not only are his gaffes adorable in that same exact way your toddler is when he wobbles around your house, but they remind us that the president is…human. He makes mistakes. Lots of them. Relatable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In 2024, we need a President that redefines what it means to be President, while also preventing either one of these psychotic and probably hyper-authoritarian nincompoops from gaining unimaginable power and unmaking the universe. Our lives depend on it, so write in Unky Joe one more time. It\u2019s free, and it\u2019s fun!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Marvel at our courageous endorsement<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1329,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_import_markdown_pro_load_document_selector":0,"_import_markdown_pro_submit_text_textarea":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[79,12,172],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-apologies","category-celebs","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ojwolfsmasher.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ojwolfsmasher.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ojwolfsmasher.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ojwolfsmasher.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ojwolfsmasher.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1328"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ojwolfsmasher.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1328\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1330,"href":"https:\/\/ojwolfsmasher.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1328\/revisions\/1330"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ojwolfsmasher.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1329"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ojwolfsmasher.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ojwolfsmasher.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ojwolfsmasher.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}